Then I asked him, “will he have some snacks?” and he replied that “No thanks buddy…. I’m fine with it…..”. I still insisted to have some and I went to the kitchen to get snacks. I was in the kitchen thinking about him, suddenly he called “whether he could use mine laptop for some work.” and without thinking, I said, “yes sure”.After few seconds it reminded me of my porn search which was still active on my laptop before he arrived.I was like, shit!!!!!!….I grabbed whatever snack packets and cold drink I could fetch and hurried towards living room before he could open my laptop.Before I could reach, he was already accessing my laptop. I felt guilty and shy at same time….thinking what he could be thinking of me now.As I entered the living room he stared at me and I was standing still. He asked me jokingly, “will I eat that entire snacks alone”. I was puzzled whether he had seen my web search. With confused state. I said, “ (laughingly) snacks are for both of us” and I shared snacks with. ...Over the past 5 years, Mistress and sissy have kept up with each otherjust enough to know that they both still had major feelings about eachother and also major regrets about how things had ended up, however bothof them have kept their real feelings and emotions hidden so as toinsure that they didn't end up hurt again. On their un-occasionalmeetings they discussed being back together again, but both of them wereunwilling to take a chance and try again.Mistress always chided me for not being willing to give myself to heragain, however she didn't really realize that she was unwilling orprobably scared to take up where they had left off and take the chanceof further heartbreak and disappointment. She also made fun of me fornot being able to go for more then 6 or 8 weeks at a time without somekind of contact between us, mostly always instigated by me. Little didshe know that, this contact was the only thing in life that I had tolook forward to, however after being scolded for my.
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